Bargaining with God isn’t the smartest idea. For a year I’d prayed that God would give me the desire of my heart. Time to understand, pursue, and work on the craft of writing.
He answered my prayer, but I changed my mind. In order to write, I needed to give up something else I loved—teaching.
“Just one more year and I’ll stop,” I said.
The position seemed like a perfect fit. I loved the team of teachers I would work with. I knew some of the students from past classes. Everything happened so fast—too fast.
I knew to pray about this new position. My prayer was a simple one. “God, if you don’t want me to do this, close the door.”
Just because the door was open, didn't mean I needed to walk through.
My problem, I didn’t stay still long enough to hear His answer. How could I? In less than two weeks, I had been asked to take on a directorship, attended a conference, a parent meeting and acquired my first couple of students. When I was with others in the organization, my excitement grew. I allowed my excitement to silenced God’s voice.
When I decided to listen, I sent in my resignation.
“What if I pay you more?” One Mom inquired. So many ‘what ifs’ have come my way. What if I had listened to God the first time then disappointing my friends may not have entered the equation.
To pursue the dream God put in me comes with a cost. I never thought the cost would be something else I loved.
I’ll leave my bargaining to garage sales.
Thanks God, for not allowing me to settle for a “deal” instead of your best.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
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