Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Deal or No Deal

Bargaining with God isn’t the smartest idea. For a year I’d prayed that God would give me the desire of my heart. Time to understand, pursue, and work on the craft of writing.

He answered my prayer, but I changed my mind. In order to write, I needed to give up something else I loved—teaching.

“Just one more year and I’ll stop,” I said.

The position seemed like a perfect fit. I loved the team of teachers I would work with. I knew some of the students from past classes. Everything happened so fast—too fast.

I knew to pray about this new position. My prayer was a simple one. “God, if you don’t want me to do this, close the door.”

Just because the door was open, didn't mean I needed to walk through.

My problem, I didn’t stay still long enough to hear His answer. How could I? In less than two weeks, I had been asked to take on a directorship, attended a conference, a parent meeting and acquired my first couple of students. When I was with others in the organization, my excitement grew. I allowed my excitement to silenced God’s voice.

When I decided to listen, I sent in my resignation.

“What if I pay you more?” One Mom inquired. So many ‘what ifs’ have come my way. What if I had listened to God the first time then disappointing my friends may not have entered the equation.

To pursue the dream God put in me comes with a cost. I never thought the cost would be something else I loved.

I’ll leave my bargaining to garage sales.

Thanks God, for not allowing me to settle for a “deal” instead of your best.